I lost my magic

I lost my magic as I got old
I lost my charmed as I got old
I couldn't bewitch anyone anymore
I lost it
And I am failing each time I try to charm someone
I don't know how to make someone to fall in love to me
I don't know how two people can feel the same
Maybe I talk too much and it annoys people.
Maybe I talk ridiculously and it shuts people's heart
I hate myself when a guy that I like said be yourself
You don't choose me even I am myself
I just hate it
I hate when the guy that I like likes my bestfriend.
But I never hate her.
I would never.
I just lost my magic
And I feel so lost.
I walk and I feel heavy
I really wanna shout
Is anybody out there who could love me?
I keep getting no answer.
My age is getting older
And I am getting withered

Being weak is bad

Being weak is bad.
I have seen one case.
This person is not well educated.
She was slow.
She was weak.
She was unwell yet people said she was just being too spoiled.
Wherever she did they will find errors.
They were being cynical and love to make her feel bad.
When she is feeling unwell they said she was just pretending she is ill.
They said don't trust her.
Do not believe of what she said.
She is a liar.
She loves to lie.
And that day she died after she had suffered her sickness that she "pretended" for years.
I saw she smiled before those people buried her.
She looked pretty.
There was an old lady said "We just do not know how well she is going of all the sins she had done to her husband".
Ya Allah... you are being jealous and do not know what is actually happen.
God... she had lost her chances to defend herself.
But,Allah is the Great.
The time will come.

Accept

I want to accept the way things happen
Things will get better
I must give it more time
Time will heal all wounds
They will give in
Or
Give me another chance
We will never know
And I must retreat
I must stay aside for awhile
I will find happiness sooner or later
I must learn to accept the way it happens
I must
I must

I have to give more time on me

I might become so much matured as I become 30.

I am slow and I got my speed a little by little and it is in slow tune.

When I got my speed and it fits normal people I feel happy. That is because some people got it after a week but I got it after 10 years.

So every progress that I want I might get it after 10years.

Maybe I am able to speak like a normal person as I become 30.

I will become better. I need to be patience with myself. I will be happy.

For a meantime, I must busy myself with going to new places and doing new stuffs.

And keep fixing myself. Stop saying bad about others and shoulda focus on me more. Saying bad about others kinda distracting me from fixing myself.

My bad mouth

I am tooooo outspoken
People frown as I speak
I felt regretted with what I said
I realized that I said too much
Dear Ili, please behave
Dear Ili, please behave
I feel afraid to talk to people
I am afraid if I hurt people again
Now I know why I just couldn't win people's heart
Now I know why people keep hurting me
I am too outspoken and being rude
Dear Ili, please behave
Please behave

Will I ever get married

God...
Dear God
Will I ever get married?
If yes... to whom?
I feel hopeless
I feel unwanted
I am observing my friends who have boyfriends...got engaged and got married
They look happy
I wanna have my own kids
Am I not attractive?
Is it because the way I talk?
Is it because I am 28
My loneliness is killing me
I pretend that I am happy and busy

You give love a bad name

Wherever I go.. guys always choosing girls who can be touch like that.  They adore the girls and go having dates with them. The girls will be showered by money and things they call love.

They both just playing and fooling around. They just love couples for benefits. I hate to see all of these. They are happy yet fool and when there is no one around... then they will try to get me. Have you done playing?

I hate this... and they are so fool. You give love a bad name. I almost do not believe in guys and true love. Where all the good guys go? I need someone who can give me true love, take care of me and protect me from any harm. I am not so clever and I need someone to guide me well.

What did I do on my UNISEL TESL PRACTICUM

It is already September and on 26^th September 2014 I will be leaving Sekolah Rendah Selayang Baru 2. That’s school is the one where I get my practicum done as a teacher. I see myself as an apprentice as well as my three other friends in my practicum groups. They are Kholees, Adam Ariff and Afif. They appointed me as their leaders for they believe the eldest should lead.

I started out with a less confidence and afraid that I cannot do anything right in teaching. But then, things slowly work out. I got my confidence from the prayers to god, great motivations from family and friends and the teachers in school especially the headmistress Puan Marsilah did share their experience and techniques to me.

Anyway, I didn't go too well. Well, I was just average but I am happy that I can be myself and the pupils in school like it as I teach them. Everybody was very supportive and it was a blessed.

In this journal, you may read all about my experiences and the techniques that I used for someone who started with a trembled hearts. You will read about how uneasy I was to teach using a low voice that I have. I don’t have the skill to project my voice. You will also read about how I manage to control an autistic pupil or disobedient pupils.

I also do blog out about my experience. Furthermore, to have an experience as a teacher is really interesting thing yet to tell.  This blog thing really helps me when I tried to find the dates for my report.

This practicum will be my final task for my diploma. I should have been happy but the final day to be in this school I was sad and goodbye is always not an interesting word to spell or tell.

                                                     

Click here for TEACHER'S ROLE by me.

Click here for TEACHER’S INSTRUCTIONAL LANGUAGE by me

Click here for MIXED ABILITY CLASS+I DEALT WITH AUTISTIC PUPIL

Click here for Conclusion of my TESL PRACTICUM at this school

Click here for my references to do my journal prepared for my lecturer MR SOO RUEY SHING

References for my TESL practicum journal

I think you should read this before you performed micro teaching in front of lecturers or in a real school.

Saya rasa kamu patut baca rujukan ini sebelum anda pergi mengajar.

http://www.academia.edu/1026697/Classroom_roles_of_English_language_teachers_The_Traditional_and_the_innovative

http://www.slideshare.net/pylyer/final-practicum-portfolio-2698850?related=1

http://www.researchgate.net/publication/248981266_Teacher_instructional_language_and_student_experience_in_middle_school_choral_rehearsals

http://pomizipedagogy.wordpress.com/kaedah/memberi-arahan/

http://kancil8349.blogspot.com/2011/08/ketika-memberi-arahan-kepada-murid.html

http://khairulaniza.blogspot.com/2012/01/dua-teknik-nabi-yang-berguna-semasa.html

http://sayameana.blogspot.com/2014/09/pengalaman-melatih-kalam-jamaie.html

http://neltachoutari.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/mixed-ability-of-the-learners-challenge-for-elt-teachers/

http://www.onestopenglish.com/support/methodology/classroom-management/classroom-management-teaching-mixed-ability-classes/146453.article

“Aku bersyukur anakku autisme” book by Dr Wan Nasyrudin Wan Abdullah-the discovery from Quran and the latest research and the prophet Muhammad PBUH’s method.

CONCLUSION OF MY TESL PRACTICUM AT SK SELAYANG BARU 2

Based on my practicum, this school has showed a great teamwork to solve any education problem involved to this school or to boost the performance of their students. The students’ level is average and they accepted things that they have to improve. Hence, the students were very supportive with every program that been held to improve their studies, to compete each other or the boost up their moral values. The examples of the program that been held Kem Bestari Solat , The Independence Day competitions , Malaysia Day , Program Restu Dipohon Doa Merimbun UPSR(Appendix 7), Aerobic Day and Tadarus(students’ session Quran recital).

I even got to mingle around with the staffs and the teachers. I went to one of the teacher’s wedding which I have been invited, to Aquaria (Appendix 10) with some female teachers just for a casual outing and I wear a similar teacher’s Merdeka shawl on Malaysia’s Day.

I also had been given a chance to become the jury for Independence Day’s choir, made a special performance for Independence Day, to handle group singers with musical instruments (Appendix 3), to handle choir in Arabic and to handle registration for Program Restu Dipohon Doa Merimbun UPSR, I also was asked to teach PBSM students and lead Traditional Games Club.

Most of the tasks given by the teachers to me were something that I had never done before in my life. But, I just took the responsibility and asked around if I didn't know how to carry it out. My life principle is no guts, no glory and that was why I just take risk and learn how to handle it right.

I feel so grateful to have the chance to do my practicum at Sekolah Kebangsaan Selayang Baru 2 for the teachers are very kind and helpful from my first day to the last day here. Especially to the headmistress who gave my practicum friends and I a lot of advices since beginning to the last.

My friends and I also had done some small project in the school. We rearranged and redecorated the book shelves for English Room in the school. I helped the Leader for the English Teachers (Guru Panitia Bahasa Inggeris) in this school to make a collection of lyrics and “fill in the blanks” exercise with CD Songs with it.

As for our last day there, Miss Asyikin Dasuki (teacher at the school) asked me to perform a singing performance with my guitar on my last day there and we had KFC meal on that day just to entertain her pupils. Before that, the teachers had made a party for our leaving. We really like it and got presents from teachers and pupils. The teachers and the pupils were very sad and they hope that I will get another chance to visit them or work there.

The teachers at this school had never stressed us out and the tasks given were not too difficult to be done. It was a great experience ever and I am eager to become a teacher in the future.

As for my practicum team, I am very proud of them for maintaining their discipline, punctuality and workmanship.

Click here for KEM BESTARI SOLAT

Click here for Malaysia Day

Click here for Program Restu Dipohon Doa Merimbun UPSR

Click here for my last guitar performance at the school

         

I have made SING TO FILL activities for Puan Aisyah the Panitia of English Language of the school.

Last request from Miss Asyikin Dasuki using my guitar

She asked me to entertain her Year 3 pupils by making a guitar singing performance. I sang Let it go, Lemon Tree and Stay (Estrella) . We laughed and sang together after we ate KFC (Miss Asyikin treated us for lunch as a gift for their participation on some singing school contest).

I have been given a chance to give a speech. So I told them to keep learning English because understand English can also being use to help others and it is not just for helping you to get in good schools or get a good job.

We arranged the mini library. Yeay for the PRACTICUM TEACHERS OF UNISEL

Adam, Kholees, Afif and I have arranged this mini library and we did it. 

The first day we got here, it was totally like a ship wrecked and we start small and now it is better that had seen it before. CLICK HERE to see how it looked before

Well, the castle block on the shelves were build by Miss Kholees and the ideas were from me, Afif and Adam. 

MIXED ABILITY CLASS + I DEALT WITH AN AUTISTIC PUPIL

The mixed abilities class can give not an easy problem to me. This is mainly because of different learning styles, variations of learning speeds, differences in motivation and the teacher has to overcome the problem of how to meet the necessities of every student in the class. I always stress them the need for teamwork and for the class to use English whenever possible in classroom communication.

 I was wrong to start up with group work. As for the 10 year old children, I should train them with pairing work before they get into group works. They argue much as they start up with group work.  The questionnaires and interviews are always use in production stage. I just love pairing off weaker and stronger students and involving both in the preparation and implementation of the questionnaire. I reminded the stronger students to see their role as the “helper” or even mentor for promoting positive tone in them. 

As I marked their exercise books or worksheet, I will try to detect the students’ ability and level. As I was in the class, I will give full attention to the slow learner or lazy students until they finish their work.

I also have an autistic Year 4 student at another class who have made a lot of teachers couldn't control him. Despite that, he can speak English very well with British accent and studied at the First class. His problems are he doesn't like to obey orders, he is over sensitive and likes to do a lot of abnormal act such us eating paper glue, bat’s dung or throw a chair if he got mad. The teachers at school know that he has autism and they tried to calm him down by giving their hand phones or anything that he wants. Only the disciplinary teacher doesn't calming him by giving anything that he wants. She treats him like a normal boy and he seems to obey every time he was scolded by her.

I did have two chances of teaching at his class. The first day I was there, he was crying hard because the boys at his class were teasing him for being not accepted that he lose the game in the class. He cried louder and louder. I think he would not stop crying if I don’t hit or scold the boys who tease him. But, I did differently, I shouted at him “Calm down. I would not listen to you if you don’t calm down. Show me you can calm down. Show me!” and then he suddenly stopped crying. I said to him if he calms down he will get more friends. I told the boys to respect him and I told him to respect them. I said to the whole class that everyone is special in the class and not just one person is special. I said that because I know that some of them might be jealous for the autistic boy who is always being pampered by the teacher. After the boy being scolded, he shows more positive tone. He knows the rule of taking turns and he obeys me. I read some articles and book that autistic person like graphic books. So, I bring a graphic book related to the subject that he is weak. He is weak when it comes to religious mind subject. He started to ask and interested to find the answer when he looked through the graphic book I showed him.

I tried to be diplomatic in my questioning techniques by avoiding putting weaker students “on the spot” by naming them to be the first to answer a question in open class. Instead, ask a stronger student first and then ask a weaker student to repeat the answer. It can be time consuming but, once this style of interaction becomes habitual and the students getting familiar with the vocabularies or phrases, it can be very productive in terms of class dynamics.

Teacher’s Role

Best student becomes a vision for every school. For that, teachers become the most important people who can educate young generations to become superior.

So, my main role as a teacher for Year 4 Lithium is to give input to the students at school and being able to educate the students according to their age and level. I have to explore the suitable learning techniques for my students to ensure that they can apply the knowledge through their lives. I have to improve my English for English teacher needs to get fluent n English. I learned to work hard and being equal to all of my students.

Furthermore, my role is also nurturing them with love. I found that a lot of students who likes to make problems at school are someone who is lack of love and attention. This occurs for those who have busy working parents. I have to make them believe that their life is precious and I even remind them not to involve in any negative acts.

I am not a discipline and not really a decent person. As a teacher, I make myself get more discipline for the reason; teacher becomes the students’ inspiration of becoming success in their life. For your information, I was also suffering awful sunburn on my skin as I was just come back from an army training. I got less confidence with that kind of skin as I got in the school for the first time. But, I have to put up a lot of self-motivation by ignoring my problems. My skin problem cured as well as my teaching techniques is getting improved through the months.

KSSR (Kurikulum Standard Sekolah Rendah) which has been introduced 4years ago really match the Malaysia’s Education Philosophy “Education in Malaysia is an on-going effort towards further developing the potential of individuals in a holistic and integrated manner, so as to produce individuals who are intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically balanced and harmonious, based on a firm belief in and devotion to God. Such an effort is designed to produce Malaysian citizens who are knowledgeable and competent, who possess high moral standards, and who are responsible and capable of achieving high level of personal well-being as well as being able to contribute to the harmony and betterment of the family, the society and the nation at large”. — Ministry of Education, Malaysia.

In KSSR, teacher’s role is more to develop the students’ potential with high moral standards. KSSR will make the class turn into a student centred class. Looking through the lesson plan, I make them recall previous lesson, guess the topic for today lesson, give out chances for them to find out more answers, present individually or in groups and the last one after I recall the today’s lesson, I instil some moral values.

In the nutshell, teachers in KSSR syllabus will acquire students who are more dynamic and fluent. I have made assessment between KSSR students (Year 4) and KBSR students (Year 5 and 6). The KSSR students have more courage and self-confidence to present in front of the class than the KBSR students who are most of the time don’t really have the guts to contribute ideas or present themselves in front of the class.

                                                          CLASS 4 LITHIUM

TEACHER’S INSTRUCTIONAL LANGUAGE

The most challenging part of teaching is to adjust in the right and clear instructional language towards the students. I have realized the relationship between teacher language use and student quality of experience during teaching lessons and a part of that I also trained the students for Kalam Jama’ie Year 5 (choral speaking in Arabic), group singing with musical instruments in Arabic Year 5, choir in Malay Year 4  and poetry declamation Year 4 in Malay.

 As what I read, existing research suggests “the use of instructional scaffolding as effective in enhancing student learning and experience, but this had not been previously investigated during music rehearsals. The language of two teachers during 20 rehearsals was recorded and examined for evidence of instructional scaffolding and sequential units of instruction; student self-reports of affect, challenge and skill were correlated with the teachers’ language. Students reported higher levels of challenge and skill (often referred to as ‘flow experience’) during rehearsals with greater use of scaffolding language. Analysis suggests that a strong positive relationship exists between teachers’ use scaffolding language, complete sequential units of instruction, and quality of student experience during middle school choral rehearsals”.

 I am really agreed with the research because the students and I had made a lot of spontaneous real conversation and discussion to make things right. Associating to the session that I taught them in English, we were too strict to the syllabus and the students were stressed out sometimes and also got easily bored. That was why I had to mix up teaching method in one lesson. Total Physical Response, Grammar Translation Method and Community language learning has become my favourite methods of teaching. Things were different as we were practicing for competition; they were all self-motivated and argued as much as they want so that their ideas would be accepted. They also made their own practising session without me. But, I have to stretch a lot of instruction. Therefore, things will not drive irrational. My patience is running thin if all of them act as a leader. Thus, I have to involve and acquire those clear instructions.

The language of instruction will guide the students before they begin any activity. I took a long time to give orders because they need to comprehend my difficult instructions. I began to explore how to give clear and simple orders so it would be easy to comprehend. I have to write down the orders when they are in class to ensure them to remember and obey. I also had to reward them things if they obeyed me. For example I rewarded them a singing time with my guitar according to the song that they wanted me to sing. I even use a castanet to sing to select which person to come in front and do the task.

I made less few steps of my instruction. If the steps are many, I have to demonstrate to them while giving instructions. I will give a detail instruction. I will make sure all of them to give full attention on me and not making noise as I was giving instruction. For example “Class, Listen!”, “Class, I can still hear some voices! ( this is when they were making noise all of the sudden)” or “Class, please look in front!”.

Sometimes I also use silent way to make them behave. I will silent myself either by staring at them until they behave or I covered my eyes until their being silent and sit down.

Then, I will ask them to recall the instructions I have told them before. This is to check if they remember the instruction given.

My way to improve the way to instruct is by analysing the problem faced by the students while they were performing the activities. The instructions which are unclear, not precise, difficult, and short without repeatedly instruct will make my students making errors while doing the task given.

Our Prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him principles of reinforcement; giving compliments and state out the impacts. I did apply the principles. Example: “Good job. I like it when you did revise your study last night and today you can answer my questions”.

click here to watch the video of their training.

click here to look at the picture of Kalam Jamai'e training

                                   

                                

                               I was helping the teacher to train these kids singing along with instruments.

Biskut cornflakes mudah

http://www.kongsiresepi.com/read/4319/0

Kek pelangi mudah

http://linapg.blogspot.com/2014/02/resepi-kek-pelangi-sempena-anniversary.html?m=1