Being away from people

I am being away from others.
I hate it when some people used me.
I hate myself when I am too relying on someone
I hate when people accusing me of something I did not do.

To be in heaven it cost hardship.
To be better it needs big effort to push yourself

Yesterday, I had in an argue.
I had enough of her
She always makes my heart going heavy
She makes me do something that actually she can do it by herself
She thinks she can ask me to do anything she wants
She makes me lost my good friend which turn into enemy
She loves people got in trouble for her
She thinks people should pity on her
Good luck to her boyfriend of having her
There will be more trouble she can cause you
I already live in misery because of her
The way she treated me
The way she makes me live
Yes, I ended the so called friendship with a blow.
I asked her.. You never asked about am I fine or not
You have known that I am now with my grandma.
But, you never ask about how she is
What you want to ask is to do things for you
Right now
Right here
Alright
I don't want to see you anymore
I don't want to know anything about you
I am free
I know and remember the good deeds you have done for me
But..remember.. I used to ignore my health just to take you home
Our other friends didn't have the willingness to do so because sometimes you can be ridiculous.
You used to get sulk of someone of that day
Then,you asked us to come back for you as we just reached home after we sent you there.
The journey took us half an hour.
You never think that.. if we ever got tired?
You only care about we should care about you
People have costed a lot of money to show that we care YOU
But this time you are toooo much
Too much
When I said I cannot help you this time
You pissed off and forget everyday that I wasted my nap time..my holiday..just to sent you and to take you home...everyday.
As you left home
You never say thank you
Or say sorry for troubling me much
But after sometimes
You come back and ask me to do favour

This time around..
I am going to be away from people for awhile.
To give me time to breathe
It was traumatic and pathetic enough
People said I am too soft to her
But yesterday I was too harsh for her
Enough is enough
I am happy with my grandma.
She makes me smile eventhough she cannot memorize things right.
I am afraid her alzheirmer is showing day by day.
Sometimes in a few second she didn't remember who I am.
Then, I had to recall her.
We laughed as she remember
I laughed but in my heart I am scared.
Anyway, I am happy to help her at home and to do shopping for her.
She is happy that I can go with her scooter to buy her favourite food

hi on mobile

I was wondering..if I can post this via mobile.. Well,let's see

It WAS my own fault

I have a question
Why one doesn't stick with me
When one does stick
The one stick on the wall
Like a poster on the wall
But then it begins to wear off
and it's going to fall

I thought it was fated that way
Naturally
Because the "poster" is getting old
and the "adhesive".. is no longer any stronger

But..
It was my fault
I messed up
I should calm myself
And keep calm
Do not get too excited
Keep calm
Hypnotize yourself ,dear
Keep calm
keep calm
People loves you when you are calm
Laugh with calmness
Smile with calmness
Talk in calmness
walk and sit in calmness

Learn towards progression
Progression towards new worlds and new day

I miss silent way
Because silent is gold
Time is also gold
Let me use it wisely
Because I am getting old
I would getting married
I don't know when will I get married and to whom
But before I do
I have to make myself do more of me and new me

Ish, Ramadan datang lagi! VS Yeaaa, Ramadan datang lagi!

            

Masa kecil dulu saya tak suka bulan Ramadan sebab:

Nanti lapar.

Nanti badan jadi lemah.

Nanti mulut jadi busuk.

Nanti adik kecil saya makan depan saya, saya jadi tak keruan.

Nanti nak mandi laut atau sungai tak boleh sebab dikatakan makhruh.

Nanti bosan kalau Ramadan jatuh waktu cuti sekolah atau hujung minggu sebab tak boleh pergi mandi di sungai atau laut.

Nanti kena tolong mak masak dengan badan yang lemah.

Masa ke masa saya belajar ambil tahu mengenai bulan Ramadan.Saya semakin suka Ramadan sebab:

Nanti boleh jimatkan duit sebab siang tak perlu makan .Bulan Ramadan bulan untuk rehatkan perut. Perut mana ada mulut nak minta rehat. Allah Maha Pengasih Maha Penyayang. Bulan Ramadan bulan perut rehat.

Nanti kita akan diberi rehat berbanding masa bulan-bulan terdahulu kita asyik sibuk dan nak dapat rehat memang susah.

Nanti kita akan kurang bercakap. (Yelah, mulut kitakan busuk.Malu nak cakap banyak-banyak.Tapi tahukah anda bau mulut orang yang berpuasa lebih wangi daripada haruman kasturi di sisi Allah s.w.t. Si Perokok pula boleh berlatih berhenti merokok.

Nanti saya okay je kalau ada orang makan depan saya. Saya kan dah besar panjang. Hahaha. Lagipun, Syaitan-syaitan dibelenggu sepanjang bulan Ramadhan. Kalau saya nak batalkan juga puasa, siapalah setan tu ya?

Nanti-nanti je mandi laut dan sungai. Inilah masa untuk memerhatikan ciptaan Allah dan berzikir mengingati-Nya Bulan Ramadan baca quran tepi pantai? Uwauuuu

Nanti kalau banyak masa terluang. Isikan saja dengan membaca Al-Quran. Dahla Para malaikat memohon keampunan untuk orang yang berpuasa sehingga dia berbuka. Terdapat pada bulan ini Lailatul Qadar yang mana ianya lebih baik daripada seribu bulan. Sesiapa yang tidak mengambil peluang untuk membuat kebaikan dan beramal padanya maka dia telah melepaskan semua peluang kebaikan. Orang-orang yang berpuasa akan mendapat keampunan pada malam yang terakhir daripada bulan Ramadhan

Nanti saya masak sendiri dengan kawan-kawan.Bulan Ramadan juga bulan rahmat. Ada je dapat makan percuma. Jimat betul bulan puasa

Yes,you can speak English!

Most of us being afraid to speak in English as a foreigner asked us something in English. I met my two friends yesterday. They asked me to teach them English. They said they don’t know what to say if an international student asked them direction.

I said to them I believe they can speak or answering question about direction. The basic thing about showing direction is about turning left or right and going straight or going back. Anyway, most of us have learned English since we were very little. 

We just need a little courage to speak up. Don’t worry if you don’t pronounce it right; speaking too slow or grammatical error. What you are saying is important for them. No matter how slow you are, they are willing to listen and they have to try to understand.

               

My motto is to make things simple as possible. For example if one asked you, “How are you?” you can answer it “good”. Then, “How‘s your study?” and again you answer it good or you have difficulty in studying, you can just said “bad”.

Whatever it is don’t forget to read or listen anything in English to enrich your vocabs(vocabulary). If you have a favourite movie that you are not bored to watch it over and over again, keep watching but remember to get a movie with English subtitles. I recommend you to find “A life in Japan” video in youtube because they speak in easy English and it also with English subtitles. The stories in it are quite interesting and that will makes you easily remember.

Do you remember how you learned your mother tongue language? You didn’t start with learning how to read and spelling, right? Your mother didn’t ask you to memorize this is a television, this is a tree or teach how to spell it right? It is because we heard everyday people said this thing is a television, they love watering the trees and so on. Believe it or not we already how to speak in our mother tongue language before we went to school. 

About grammar? I tell you about it later. I am sure you want to write in English in a right way. I am not that good in English but I know easy English and I love sharing. See ya!

I love pat and pets

Pat(Tepuk) on the back means to give encouraging words or praise to someone 

while pet means an animal we can keep and nurture with love.



I love patting my friends if they're doing good job in our group assignment, games and stuff.

I love people doing the same to me too.

It may seem strange. I give myself a pat too if I do good in things.Haha.

or when I am sad.. I pat myself and tell to myself I'll be ok soon.

I got messed up these couple of months. I lose some and win some.

I gambled few things, I lost in the "game".

I do win some.But it isn't that much.

Send someone to love me :( I wish.

I am busy with silat cekak Malaysia because the training is getting tougher.



I sacrificed for not going to other clubs because I need rest and training for silat.

I hate when someone asked me what is my priority as I didn't go where he want me to be.

Dad sent me here (UNISEL) to study. My priority is to study. So?

I have family matters to look on and I have to volunteered myself to take care of this weak family bonds and strengthen it with love and care.

I don't want to be seen as someone who only one care about patani issues and others far away issues but ignore what's going on with my surroundings.

I live at Kota Puteri,Ijok and my Unismart friends at Kota Puteri struggling for SPM.We live very near.But,I should steal time to go seeing the Unismart friends and help them. They need someone to encourage them to do well in SPM.I am so relieved to have some Unisel's friends who would also do the same.

I love teaching for free for those in need because I used to have friends who taught me for free.I want to be just like them.I believe education will free you to "fly" high and soar in the "sky".

and I love pets

Cry for the moon.Me?

                              




Cry for the moon means to wish for something impossible. Since I was a kid, wishing for something impossible is my routine. I will either work on it to make it possible or just cry over it ( as I knew it would never be dream comes true). To work on something by making it real is totally a great experience. But to know that I am just wasting my time of trying is totally sucks! Whatever it is I always give a little hope and wait for for miracles. Other than that, I believe good people will get good life. God will always show His miracle when the time is just right.Am I right? I experience a lot with that. Yes, I'll wait while I keep in a good faith.Good luck to me and good luck to you

10 good and funny bicycles' pictures that I found today

       
          1.  Bicycle parts are precious art

                                     
      2.I prefer a safer ice skating in winter

                                      

3.This bike is classic and let me have it! <3

                    

4.My brother has something like this with the same colour but it's not BICYCLE!

                

5.It's for a long journey and you'll have no time for toilet



7.I wish I could have this on Unisel's lake



8.I will never see you forever and ever




9.Recycle indeed!



10. I am waiting for this bike to get real. huhu http://www.mobilemag.com/2006/06/30/locust-bike-concept-folds-like-an-accordian/ read all about it via link :)

Let me share with you this website http://www.bicyclephilosophy.com/

My own bicycle philosophy is No bicycle,no tyre,No Life cycle,No "fire" ..Lame! haha

My life may not be perfect in Malay?

                 


Aku telah melihat hari-hari yang lebih baik 
tapi aku juga pernah melihat (hari) yang lebih buruk.
Aku tak punya apa-apa yang ku mahu
tapi aku punya semua yang aku perlukan
Aku bangun dengan sedikit kesakitan 
tapi aku(tetap) bangun.
Hidupku mungkin tak sempurna
tapi aku dirahmati.

Throughout my life in Malay

Sepanjang hidupku
Aku mencintai
Aku telah berbohong
Aku terluka
Aku terhanyut
Aku terlepas
Aku mempercayai
Aku buat kesilapan
Tapi yang penting aku telah mempelajari(sesuatu)

Reality of fear in Malay?

          



Realiti tentang takut

Kamu bukan takut dengan kegelapan
Kamu takut apa yang ada di dalamnya(dalam gelap).

Kamu bukan takut dengan tempat tinggi
Kamu takut terjatuh

Kamu bukan takut dengan orang yang disekeliling kamu,
Kamu cuma takut tidak diterima(orang)

Kamu bukan takut bercinta
Kamu cuma takut dicintai orang kamu cintai

Kamu bukan takut untuk melepaskan
Kamu cuma takut tidak dapat menerima realiti yang dia sudah pergi.

Kamu bukan takut untuk mencuba lagi.
Kamu cuma takut terluka lagi untuk sebab yang sama.

Me: I translated this while listening to

Why Try To Change Me Now

7 Rules of Life in Malay?

                 

7 Peraturan Hidup

1. Berdamailah dengan masa silam anda jadi anda tidak tersilap lagi pada masa depan
2. Apa yang orang fikir mengenai anda bukan menjadi urusan anda
3. Masa mengubati segalanya,jadi berilah waktu(untuk "sembuh")
4. Jangan membandingkan hidup anda dengan orang lain dan jangan menghakimi orang lain.Kamu tidak tahu  perjalanan hidup mereka sebenarnya.
5. Jangan terlalu memikir,lebih elok jika kita tidak tahu jawapannya.Jawapan-jawapan itu akan datang pada anda tanpa anda menjangkakannya.
6. Tiada siapa bertanggungjawab atas kebahagiaan anda kecuali anda.
7. Senyumlah.Bukan anda yang menanggung semua masalah di dunia ini.

                                                                                  Bisikan hati 

Things are pretty crazy and I have to take it easy.

                      

Things are pretty crazy and I have to take it easy.

Moving to a new house, went to Masscom workshop, became a facilitator for Unismart, making a book and video about Aceh and run for student council for my faculty.Phew!

OK, the longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it when you get it because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for.

Well, back when I was still a kid as I started to dream..

I dream to become a teacher and that’s why I love to play school with my childhood friends. Funny thing was I play school even I was alone or I was locked in the toilet because I got punished by my mom. Now, I am studying Diploma in Teaching English as a Second Language at the age of 26years old and I already teach English, Quran reciting and music for free for a start. I join some organizations to teach for free as a volunteer. GPTD and MPN are my best platform. By the way, I still got a couple of years to complete my studies. Phew!

I dream to become a singer or song writer. I love singing. I don’t know when I started to sing. What I know is I started talking as I was 3 years old and as far as I can remember I love to do parody to some of my favourite songs since I was a kid. I make songs to tease on people too and still keep doing that.  As I was 17, I became more serious in my song writing. I made a song a day after my late grandmother passed away and it’s for her and more songs coming with motivation words along with them. I dreamed a lot in my sleep. I dreamed that a big group of people singing my song. I dreamed about it many times and yes, at the age of 24, I got friends who do cover for my songs as I let them listened to my song sang by my little sister, Muhsinah. At the age of 25, I have made my song sang at my religious school upstage with some friends and it became a hit in that school and as I worked in a shop, my colleagues love the song and sing it back. They even also memorize my song. I made a song for my class’ assignment in Unisel and just for fun. Then, for the songs, I got invited to sing upstage with my GPTD's friend  for the convocational night, for my friend’s project and as a gift. Love this!

I love looking into the mirror while I wore long towel on my head, put head band and decorate it with fake flowers on top of it as a kid. I was imagining myself as a bride. I have no idea when will this dream  come true. Hmm the longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it when you get it because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for? Ok, for a mean time… I‘ll try to make myself useful while waiting for my “big day”. Best wishes. Amin

Semester 2 in Unisel Bestari Jaya with my housemates

                    

Look how happy we were in semester 2.. Me and my housemates. :(
We usually build happy memories by the lake. Unisel's lake. The lake is beautiful and our memories by the lake were also beautiful. I hope we can do it again for the next semester.

I got bad news while I was working in a shop(Kedai Wahab) on New Year's Eve. Things got pretty crazy as I found out I had to move out from Unisel's hostel.

GPTD's advisor,Mr Izwan Suhadak have planned to put me and my other GPTD's friends in a house and I can tag along my housemates to move into the house at a village nearby.

The saddest part was.... we are soon to be apart. My housemates has decided to move into the house that they will be placed by Unisel. Their parents are not dare enough to let their daughters to move outside of the campus.

YEAH,the hostels of Unisel have some problem going on and it has to go under maintenance.

Since I will be missing my housemates.. Let me introduce them via trivia.

10 things about Kholees in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

10 things about Syud,Umai and Amiera in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

10 things about Alya and Bee in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

10 things about Alya and Bee in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

1. I still seldom call Alya as Cantik (a nickname that given by Syud)

           
                       kholees sayang cantik :( jeles

2.Bee has become a prolific card maker and sorts of creativity. Those has "bestow" her money. You should check out her fb. She is an artist.
            

3.Alya hates my kisses but she misses me when I am not around.

4. Alya loves to sat on my bed and asked me to play guitar for her so she can sing her favourite songs.

5.Bee loves her chair and desk.That's why she spends her time more with "them" rather than with me.. Haha.

6.Bee loves to plug on her headphone and doze away.

7.Bee loves when I speak to her and she loves when I am speechless then I ran off because of her evil eyes.. Haha.

8.Bee love to save herself and Alya with her "evil eyes". I love to tease them but I am not too dare with Bee's evil eyes.

                   
            Evil in the eyes but angel in the heart XD

9. When I speak in serious mood. Alya knows I am in a deep trouble.

10. Only Bee being sad as I lied to her that I am moving out. I just want to know who among my housemate would don't want me to leave. Only Bee surpass that test.. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. They do want me to leave. And I am really going now :(

10 things about Syud,Umai and Amiera in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

1.Syud and Humai love to fight of things that I don't understand. They usually shout and scream in their room but then they laughed away.. Weird enough. Sometimes, Syud screamed my name for help because Humai was harassing her. I'll do nothing. I laughed in my room with Kholees because I knew they'll be good in another seconds.

                         

2.Amiera Azhar loves syud very much. She regards Syud as her "wiseman". She bought gifts for Syud every time she came from her holiday with her family.

               

3.Amiera Azhar is also know as Double A for this semester 2

4.Syud is a mother cat. Yes, she loves keeping Hello Kitty stuff but she also wanted to keep a real cat which at first I think a bad idea. But then, I love that cat too. It was an injured cat. Syud, Humai and Bee really dedicated of taking care of the cat. They cleaned its wound with dettol and fed the cat everyday.

5. Amiera loves her study desk and she made a make-over her notice board.

6.Syud and Humai love to sing in semester 1 but as we're in exam weeks for semester 2, they came to my room singing together with me while accompanied with me playing guitar. We made a video for that.

7.Humai loves Jep Sepah and she left me and Syud while we're in the middle of singing for Trouble is a friend song. Jep happened to be in TV in that time. She won't missed it.Yeah, we recorded the "tragedy" in the video.

8.Amiera Azhar has a very nice voice. :) She is good to go with ballad songs.

9.Three of them study hard for this final exam. They studied harder than the last semester. Singing with me was just to release their stress.

10.Syud loves to see me as pretty as her too. She made me wore black face mask, hair recovery mask hair, eating vitamin C pills and sleep earlier(I disobeyed that one.hehe). I typed this till late at night okay. It's 1.52 a.m now. Sorry syud. Sleepless for you.. owh now it's 1.53 a.am

                                 

10 things about Kholees in Unisel Bestari Jaya Sem 2 2012

1.She improved much on her class presentations. She speaks much better and yet funnier gestures. Because of that I said "Is that my roomate?!"

2.She learned to play guitar and I admired her spirit of how she improved her guitar skills day by day. Within 4 months, she's able to  play happy birthday song with the guitar and some coldplay songs. I taught her a little but she work a lot on guitar's skill and she is able to learn by herself now. 

3.She loves to sweep the floor. She loves her carpet she brought for sem 2 and keep it clean.

4. She bought a bag which shaped of a guitar which has attracted many people as she passes by.As she bought it, she wasn't sure to carry the bag to class. I jokingly said to her that one day I will accompany her to class with my own guitar bag.. It really happen though! HAHA!

                      

5.She loves playing games.PC games and outdoor games.

6.She keeps a blog name KISAH RATU GAMES and she wrote about me.. Em a memorable one. She knows me well. Haha..Well, she's my roomate. Can I keep her?!!! Nak buat keychain..huhu.(awkward moment..bak kata alya..krik krik..)

7. I learned to know her blog because I typed my name in the google and my name is in a blog..It was her blog and she didn't tell me that she has a blog. She said her blog is boring.. I said.. I want to show her blog to my children and my grandchildren.

8. It was an individual presentation.This is our first time. We usually have group presentations. She made me wild as she took up the challenge.. no slides for presentation!!

She already work hard on the slides for hours and then the lecturer said no projector? She braced herself and she did it...! I love you,KHOLEES! 

9.She took up the challenge to be a leader for mr bakri's presentation. For all this time she let me and Que to be the leader. Maybe because I am older than my classmates.. I usually became the leader for a presentation but I am so impressed with my younger classmates because I think they can do well without me.Yes, I have seen how they're doing.Well, trust yourself. Even though I am 20 something but my heart is still 18years old because I'm also like you, lack of experiences. We ask around if we don't know. Try and error and we'll understand.

10. She hates when I kiss her but she loves when I miss her. Haha